WALK LIKE A LOBSTER – Brook Dougherty
WHAT IS A LOBSTER?
A lobster, in network-marketing-speak, is a person who appears to be successful and confident and has a strong network. They are usually people we are scared to talk to, because we assume they would have no interest in our business. That is a mistake.
YOUR RIGHT TO LOBSTERS
Many of us come to network marketing tattered around the edges. Some of us may have taken a financial hit, and thought, “Oh well, I can do with less.” But then we found out that less was not okay and we wanted more. But by the time we realize this, we may be too beaten up to feel comfortable talking to the lobsters we need to create a successful team. Then, we get into the business of adding critically injured people to our team thinking we can fix them. We get hooked on the feeling of being a savior, when really, we should be out talking to the most successful people we know. If you are creating roadblocks to talking with lobsters, it’s time to dig deep and understand that you have the right to have lobsters on your team. You have the right to talk to anybody.
RICH LOBSTER, POOR LOBSTER
News flash, it doesn’t matter if a lobster has money now or not. Lobsters that were hurt in the crash fake it so well you’d think they didn’t have a care in the world. Lobsters who are still rich are good at money, which could be educational for you. The important thing about a lobster is that it’s a lobster and it may know other lobsters. Most lobsters that have lost their money want it back, and rich lobsters may want another asset.
HOW TO CHOOSE A GOOD LOBSTER
Here is a cheat sheet for qualifying lobsters. The first column is business attributes. The second column is social attributes. Anyone can sign up to be in this business, and everyone is welcome. Choosing a good lobster is like finding a good mate. After you date all the wrong people, you make a list of what really matters to you and that becomes such a handy tool for sorting through people.
THE LOBSTER LIST
This is my list. You can make your own. But after 3 years, this list is non- negotiable for me. I know who I’m looking for and what I have to offer. My clock is ticking.
COLUMN A – BUSINESS ATTRIBUTES
#1 Resources to invest in a new asset.
#2 Connected to a network of other successful people.
#3 Good communications skills, written and spoken.
#4 Successful now or in the past.
#5 Understands the words: Asset. Residual income. Diversified portfolio.
COLUMN B – SOCIAL ATTRIBUTES
#1 Outgoing.
#2 Curious about others.
#3 Finds people fascinating not burdensome.
#4 Shows up looking successful and has excellent business manners.
#5 Good, creative presence on social media.
#6 Hardwired to network and delights in it.
#7 Good at listening.
#8 Can successfully pretend to be all of the above.
STRATEGIES FOR MEETING LOBSTERS
Think about fishing boats. Do they sit at the dock waiting for lobsters to leap on board? No. They go to where the lobsters are, and they set traps. The trap we set is baited with listening, confidence, and enthusiasm. Lobsters hang out at fundraisers, and reunions, and weddings and funerals. They go to church or temple. You may have to talk to a lot of people to find a lobster. You may need to become a lobster first so other lobsters will recognize you. (See #8 above.)
LOBSTER AS LIFESTYLE
This is how it works. YOU show up as a lobster, and by that I mean the most confident version of yourself. Why? Here’s the secret. Lobster is an attitude. Lobsters are proud, and they will not reveal cracks in their shell until they know you are a lobster too. You need to get in the water with them, get naked first with your 60-second why and give them permission to take their lobster suits off too. Now you’re talking.
HOW TO TALK WITH A LOBSTER ABOUT BUSINESS
For many of us business is not our world, and while we have great products, what we really have is a financial asset. So how do we make talking about the business side of our business feel natural when we may be a writer, or an actor, or a teacher? Honesty. You are you, and you have this rocking asset that you got into for time and money freedom. You didn’t even understand at first the power of this business.
Being an actor or writer or musician, doesn’t mean you’re a business idiot. But… if you feel you need to excuse your lack of lingo, you could say, “Oh, I’m a poet, I’m SO not a business person, but I bought a digital franchise that has turned out to be a very interesting asset. Who doesn’t love residuals? You would understand the business model in a second. It’s a very simple income stream. Let’s get together and see if we have some synergy.”
Creative people can be just as good at business as MBAs, and being uncomfortable talking about your business is not an excuse for remaining on the sidelines.
MY HUSBAND THE LOBSTER
My husband is a good example of someone becoming a lobster. He was an Air Force brat and went from school to school to school. When he landed in 8th grade in Youngstown, Ohio, he was a little, skinny, smart nerd. He got smacked around walking down the hallway. It was a tough place. Then it occurred to him that if he wanted to survive eighth grade, maybe he should change the way he walked. Maybe if he had a cooler walk he wouldn’t get beaten up so much. He loved pop soul music and started walking down the hallway hearing a soul pop rhythm in his head. He got this really cool walk going. Overnight. The kids stopped hitting him, and making fun of him and elected him President of his class. Just like that. Then he got a band together which is the same thing as getting a team, and then he got a scholarship to college, which is like getting a serious lobster. All because he found his rhythm. It happened in a heartbeat, and it can happen for you.
Yes, managing your time and being organized is critical in this business, but finding the rhythm of your confidence is imperative. Walk like a lobster. Act like a lobster. Once you have it, you can walk out where the water is over your head, and then be very still, and, as Arbonne National Vice President Amy Powers says, you feel the magnet in your chest.
Before long, there will be lobsters that are curious about you. Some might even be lobsters that are looking for a new vehicle to create more time or money. All lobsters want to keep themselves out of the boiling pot. And there you’ll be, holding your smart, easy, beautiful business right between your well-manicured claws. Lobsters are looking for what we have.
May I offer you some butter?
